


Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

by RiddlePanda



Series: Mirrored Surfaces [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Remember the Evil Opposite Universe? yeah...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 07:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13608078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddlePanda/pseuds/RiddlePanda
Summary: Craig knew the second Tweek walked in his room that this wasn't his Tweek.





	Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

“You’re not Tweek.”

The blonde huffed before chuckling. “What gave it away?”

Craig roughly grabbed “Tweek” by the chin and sniffed him. “You smell like mint and honey. _**MY**_ Tweek smells like vanilla and cinnamon.”

Not Tweek pushed Craig away from him and gestured down. “So I guess none of this mattered, did it? The clothes, the hair, the **NGH** tics?”

Craig leaned against his door and crossed his arms. “Nope. The second I smelled you, I knew you weren’t him. I know it’s creepy, but I’ve got this thing about boring and normal. New smells are _**NOT**_ normal, especially when it comes to Tweek.”

Not Tweek chuckled again and shook his head. “I really guess this world **_IS_ ** opposite to ours. Cartman **_DID_** tell me that was the case...after we beat him up.”

“Where’s _**MY**_ Tweek anyway?”

Not Tweek frowned and picked at the mismatched buttons on his shirt, unbuttoning them to make them straight. “Relax, he’s at home with my Craig. Trying and probably failing the same plan we cooked up if it took you seconds to figure out I’m not your Tweek.”

“And that plan is?”

The blonde was silent as he continued to play with the buttons on his shirt.

_“So this is what it feels like when I do this to Tweek…”_

Craig sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tweek. Dude, look at me.”

Not Tweek shot a glare at the teen. “What?!”

“Not talking to me is counterproductive of whatever situation we’re in. What plan? Talk to me. It’s not healthy to just keep it in. That’s what my Tweek always reminds me to do.”

“…Breaking you two up.”

Craig raised his eyebrows as Not Tweek began to mess with his hair to smooth it out. “Breaking us up? Why woul-”

“So **_MY_** Craig and I can get back together!”

Craig stared hard at the blonde. “What does breaking me and Tweek up have to do with-”

Not Tweek stood up and stormed over to Craig, poking him hard in the chest. “Because! Our world is opposite from yours! An evil counterpart universe where everything is backwards from yours! Craig and I were together in ours until **YOU** and **YOUR** Tweek got together and our shitty friends forced us to break up!”

Craig rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s your own dumb fault then. For listening to your shitty friends. Let me guess, you’re calm and don’t let your emotions come through often? And your Craig is probably the most emotional person you know?”

“He’s…a bit much sometimes but I enjoy when he just rambles on. Wears his heart on his sleeve. So excited about anything new. Wants to do so many projects and go on so many adventures. That’s how Stripe #5 came to live with us. We ended up going to Mexico and came back with a ten foot boa constrictor because Craig’s some sort of Aztec Snake God or something.”

Craig nodded to the guinea pig cage next to him. “Stripe #5 in this world. She’s usually a lot bigger but we cut a deal with the Underpants Gnomes. Had to go back to Peru because I’m part of some Incan prophecy shit.”

“My mom owns a tea shop. Dad was brewing marijuana in the tea, which is super illegal in our world, so I killed him.”

“Uh… Coffee shop. Meth. It’s gone…now. Both my Tweek’s parents are still alive.”

Not Tweek looked around Craig’s room, noting all the space posters. “Craig loves the earth. He goes rock hunting every chance he gets when he's not trying to do dangerous stuff. He wants to be a geologist. We…have matching pendants of his favorite rock. Feldspar.”

“Tweek and I have meteorite pendants. It was one we found that fell after stargazing one night after we ended up together.”

Craig pulled out his pendant and let Not Tweek run his fingers around it, softly stroking the metal and rock.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Not Tweek looked up swiftly, locking eyes with Craig for a moment, before looking away. “We…can’t be together. We’re oppo-”

Craig scoffed as he shook his head. “Fuck your opposite world then. Fuck the rules. Fuck your friends. You fucking love your Craig? Then be together, no matter what anyone says. It’s just…universally this thing for us to be together.”

“It’s not that simple Craig.”

“Isn’t it? If you really gave a shit about the opposite of our world, you and Craig should hate each other, not still have feelings for one another. Especially going so far as to make a plan to break me and my Tweek up for you two to be together again. I say fuck it and just…be together. I promise you that everything will be fine.”

Not Tweek grew silent as he paced around the room, arms crossed as tight as he could.

Craig sighed. “Look Tweek. You know what I see when you claim you’re from an opposite evil world? From just our conversation, you remind me of myself. From the way you talk about your Craig, that describes my Tweek perfectly. Clyde always jokes about how we fall into the opposites attract stereotype. But…it’s true. I think the only thing opposite about us is our personalities are switched. I don’t know what else you guys get into, besides...murder..., but it really can’t be that much different.”

The blonde closed his eyes before chuckling. “Is that how I really sound to Craig? All…smart and logical?”

Craig shrugged. “Probably. I know it ticks Tweek off sometimes when I do it especially when he's really frustrated, but he’s told me he really appreciates it when he’s having a bad moment. It grounds him to reality.”

“Craig’s told me that he can only really relax when I’m around. He finds my voice soothing.”

“Same. Tweek’s got several recordings of me just rambling about shit that he falls asleep to.”

“I need to try that.”

Not Tweek’s phone began to play some guitar heavy 80′s metal song, bringing the two teens out of their conversation. The blonde pulled it out of his pocket and hit the answer button.

“Craig? Craig… I can… Dude, slow dow- We’re- Yeah… We’ll be- We’ll be right over. Yes. Yes! He probably knows. **YES**. I’ll tell him. Yes. Love you too babe.”

Not Tweek ended the call and took a deep breath. “So… I’m guessing they had the same conversation we did. They’re making cupcakes now and want us to come over. And Craig told me that Tweek told him to tell me to tell you to bring Stripe. Like you already didn’t know.”

Craig nodded as he picked up Stripe’s travel cage. “Does Craig know how to bake?”

“Oh yeah. My mom taught him since I’m shit at baking. I can brew a mean cup of tea though.”

————————————

Seeing a doppelganger of himself practically radiating with energy threw off Craig for a moment and he turned to the calmer Tweek to see his reaction was probably reflective of his own.

And then he saw the ten foot snake wrapped around his Tweek and grew defensive.

Tweek noticed Craig looking like he wanted to punch something and held his hands out. “GAH Craig! It’s okay! Stripe’s really sweet! She’s basically trying to **NGH** calm me down. That’s what she does with Twitchy Craig!”

The other Craig’s eye twitched as he tried to unsuccessfully wipe frosting off his cheek. “Pot calling kettle dude!”

“I’m not the one that **NGH** wanted to eat Tide pods man!”

Twitchy Craig rolled his eyes. “Whatever! I’m antsy and the cupcakes are nearly frosted. I _**HAVE**_ to release this energy somehow. Can I jump off your roof?”

“NO!”

Twitchy Craig winced, hearing all three voices shout in unison, vaguely hearing a hiss and chirp as the Stripes voiced their displeasure as well.

“Hnnn, you wouldn’t be like that if you didn’t drink that green glowy energy drink shit!”

The calmer Tweek sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “Please don’t tell me you made and drank Craig Juice.”

“There’s still some in the fridge if you want! It’s got glitter in it!”

“No causing mayhem while we’re in another universe. We’re forgetting about the plan. It was stupid anyway.”

Twitchy Craig grinned as he shoved a cupcake at Calm Tweek. “Good! Because Twitchy Tweek and me are friends now and I would feel insanely bad if we broke them up! Just the way Tweek talked about his Craig just… it made me remember all the good times we had. Maybe…we can just… get back together and still have them be together?”

Calm Tweek smiled as the began tearing the paper off the cupcake. “Actually Craig and I had the same conversation in a way. So yeah…fuck what everyone says, we’re together again. I love you.”

“Love you too. And don’t worry. There’s no jizz in the cupcake.”

Craig blinked a few times before staring at his doppelganger. “Wait…what?”

Calm Tweek snorted before giving Craig a smirk. "One time we played a trick on Stan’s gang and Craig made them cinnamon rolls. The icing had our jizz in it. They ate the entire plate. It was great!”

There was silence before the four exploded into laughter.

——————————

The alternate Tweek and Craig couldn’t leave without doing something evil so the four devised that the two would go to school the next day while Tweek and Craig hung out at Tweek’s house taking care of the Stripes.

Snake Stripe stayed curled around Tweek the entire day, resting her head on his shoulder, hissing in contentment.

“You sure you’re okay with a ten foot snake on you Tweek?”

Tweek smiled and nodded. “She’s fine Craig. She’s **NGH** squeezing enough to keep her secure, but not enough to restrict my movements. The other Craig told me that she’s a lot tighter on him since she usually immobilizes him if he gets too wound up.”

“They’re…something…aren’t they?”

“Y-Yeah man, they are.”

The front door swung open and the alternate Tweek and Craig came bursting in the kitchen, laughing hard.

The alternate Craig smiled, his eyes wide. “Ah man! It’s too bad you two couldn’t be there! We freaking scared everyone with acting the opposite of you! And we got Cartman suspended for two weeks! It was great!”

Craig and Tweek looked at each other before staring at the other two.

“GAH What the hell did you do man!?”

Calm Tweek smiled evilly. “Spraypainted a very lewd picture on the side of the building and then snuck the cans in his locker. Don’t worry, there’s no way he can prove it was us.”

“Did any of our friends suspect you two weren’t us?”

Calm Tweek nodded. “Token, Clyde, and Jimmy are a lot easier to deal with in this world. Token figured it out right away. Clyde challenged Craig to an eating contest and my god, Jimmy is fucking hilarious. I mean, our friends are okay, but…let’s just say that you two have some really great friends. Makes me kind of wish we didn’t have to go back.”

Craig nodded. “You know…our friends could become yours. There isn’t any rules saying you guys can’t come back regularly, right? Fuck the rules if there are.”

“You’ll have to come to ours one time. We’ll make sure to keep you two safe. It’s the least we can do for helping us.”

“Sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna scream at me: riddlepanda.tumblr.com


End file.
